i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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