I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
