i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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