Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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