Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dear god my vagina.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
