Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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