OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
