I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
