i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
