No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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