This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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