I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
