a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
