That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
