My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
