I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize