Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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