Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
