what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
