drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize