Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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