I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize