dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
