i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
