What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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