You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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