We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize