just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
