We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
