I'm so fucking centered right now
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
