Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
