All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
