Cold hands, warm shart.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
