the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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