just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
