Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
