i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
