After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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