I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
