You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
