i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
