I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
