I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
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