Non-Jews are for practice
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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