mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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