his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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