OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
