Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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