is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
