OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
