Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude i'm inner monologue high
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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