I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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