you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think I died a long time ago.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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