yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
