i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
