Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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