I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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