I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
