This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
