I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize