i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
