TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
