I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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