fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
