You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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