EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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