So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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