Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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