I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
